Dear Boston,

First of all, let me congratulate you on the Bruins remarkable game 7 victory to win the Stanley Cup. It was a tremendous effort on behalf of the entire squad and despite the gazillion miles flown from east to west and back again during the final series, the Bruins looked fresh, energetic and ready to hoist the trophy from the time the puck dropped. Unfortunately for the Canucks, the only other thing that looked energetic in Vancouver besides their opponents were the idiots that rioted and burnt automobiles in the street after the game. Drunk and disorderly…eh? Take off hoseheads…really.

It was a compelling seven games and I even found it cute how the announcers tried to make it seem like the Boston fans were long suffering, having not won the cup since 1972. Which brings me to the real reason for my letter. When is enough enough? I’ll grant you that it’s been a while since you climbed the mountain to the peak of NHL glory, BUT…didn’t all of the championships in every other major sport help to ease the pain?

I mean let’s look at the facts…besides this Stanley Cup, in the last decade or so the Patriots have won 3 Superbowls and almost pulled off a perfect season, the Celtics have won an NBA title and the Red Sox have twice been world champions. Puhleeeeze don’t ever bring up the curse of the Bambino again.

But while you have been polishing your trophies, we have been busy down in these parts also. Busy winning nothing important. Busy hoping, cheering, paying, praying and performing game day rituals intended to please the Gods of sports.  We have been busy losing a hockey team, busy watching our basketball team yo-yo between brilliant potential and complete ineptitude, busy wishing we could bring back the 14 Division titles of the Braves yesteryear and busy watching the progression of the best Falcons organization and team in franchise history thrill us with the #1 playoff seed in the NFC only to get unceremoniously trounced on in our own house by the eventual champion Green Bay Packers. Yep. Pretty busy.

I don’t mean to sound childish or jealous…but our one championship, the 1995 World Series was delivered to us by a team that used to be in BOSTON! Thanks for the hand-me-downs. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to give us a complex.

No hard feelings though. In fact, after much searching I think I found a bright side to being us. In just a few weeks it will be time for the grand tradition of college football to begin anew. For us, it will be ceremony, excitement and energy in the air. For you, not so much.  In fact, we might have an open date on a community college jayvee schedule if you want to offer up one of your “blue chip” D1 programs. Oh wait. You don’t have any… (If I had a tongue I’d be sticking it out right now)

Thank heaven for small favors…Oh, and congrats again on the cup.


Your slightly self-conscious and embittered friend…